The Irish Shouldn’t Cook Rice

My Dad always says, “The Irish shouldn’t cook rice.”

It’s probably because, despite my Mom’s cooking expertise, she can’t make rice to save her life. Don’t ask me why, none of us (including her) can figure out why rice is harder to master than the Sunday crossword puzzle (which ironically, she can do).

I’m pretty much straight-up Irish. With the name “Colleen Keefe” which literally means “Irish Girl” there’s little room for error when guessing my heritage. Sunburns, freckles, a hearty appetite and work ethic, and the ability to cook  … potatoes, not rice.

I’m just going to blame my rice adventures on the sheer fact that Irish people aren’t supposed to cook rice, they’re supposed to cook potatoes. I’m not a huge rice person so this is hardly ever a problem, but I do love risotto, which I guess is technically Italian rice, but same difference. I’m bad at making that too.

So last night after succumbing to the culinary gods and humbling myself a bit, I learned that sometimes making a wedding cake is easier than making risotto. It didn’t turn out bad but it’s not exactly my forte.

Maybe I just don’t have the patience? Correction, I know I don’t have the patience, but luckily cooking school taught me not to be phased by culinary disasters … in most cases butter can fix the problem.

Ah ha! And it did! I can’t tell which country is more obsessed with butter, France or Georgia …

Suffice to say, the meal wasn’t my best, but it worked out with a little of my love. What I realized about making risotto is that the reason why it tastes so good in restaurants in because it’s LOADED with butter, cream, olive oil, and salt. DUH! I realized that if you actually make it the way the directions say, it’s not going to taste like the “real thing.”

Shucks.  Well, what can I say, I’m a potato girl after all.