First Unit Over

Our course is broken up into three sections. Yesterday marked the completion of my first section. Both relief and fear filled me as I exited the kitchen after our cake … 1/3 done, yet the hardest is right in front of me.

The conclusions I’ve made from my first section are invaluable. I’ve compiled a list of the top ten most interesting, funny, and beneficial things I’ve learned thus far – none of which have anything to do with the actual food or recipes. Kitchen Life Lessons one might say.

And trust me these are all entities I’ve experienced first hand.

1. Don’t attempt to carry multiple flats of eggs after a long day of being critiqued by the chef. You are stressed, you will freak out, you will drop them, and you will be hollered at.
2. Don’t count on family meal being good. Generally it’s not. Always pack a backup, especially if you have low blood sugar …
3. You get dirty working with chocolate. It makes sense, but you don’t realize how dirty, so learn ways to manipulate your whites into looking clean even if they’re not, i.e. rolling your sleeves (multiple times), buttoning your jacket on the other side, etc.
4. Stay away from the compost bin when you’re hung over. It looks like the inside of a toilet and smells like rotten garbage.
5. When you make buttercream by the pound you can wash until the cows come home but your hands will STILL smell like and feel as though they are covered in butter.
6. Eclairs are more phallic looking than the Washington Monument.
7. Always look busy. Even if you’re not. This can be achieved by walking around the kitchen at a fast pace and/or carrying a rag and sporadically wiping countertops or anything in sight.
8. The kitchen is often freeeeeezing, so during demonstrations (that sometimes ramble on much past the point of necessary) it is key to secure a good standing position that closest to the ovens.
9. Anyone who throws dinner parties know this: clean as you go. I can’t stress this enough. No one wants to end a day (or night) cleaning ALL the dishes.
10. Know at the end of the day, you get to leave. Its just class, its just a cake, its not curing cancer. Its supposed to be fun, so let it be.